Losing yourself in something, something that encompasses all you are and all of your time, can be one of the most liberating feelings in the world. But to wake up from that and be brought back to the harsh reality that this is actually your life, can be one of the most gut wrenching feelings in the world. It is more than surreal.
Dedicating your time, energy and money into something for the greater good; something that you know is needed and you know will be helpful, fills my heart and my life with a sense of purpose. A sense of reason and belonging. Because at the end of the day, all you get out of life is what you give.
I can lose myself for days at a time focusing on someone else, trying to think of things to make their day just that little bit easier or that little bit better. I won’t stop doing that, because I know it is something I want to do and I enjoy doing.
Focusing on other people has always been an escapism for me. The harder and the longer I think about other people’s problems, and how to help them, the less time I spend on thinking about my own.
The saying that someone always has it worse than you is one of the most unjust and unfair statements I can think of. To invalidate someone’s feelings and compare them to that of a starving child in Africa is not only cruel and unnecessary, but it is detrimental to their recovery. Every problem we have is relative to our own lives. If the worst thing to ever happen to you is chipping a nail whilst preparing dinner, then of course the end of your favourite Netflix show is going to be a rocky road. But for someone that has dealt with an insurmountable amount of pain and heartache, telling them not to moan because there is a starving child on the other side of the world with 99 more problems, only pushes them further down. It’s the equivalent of telling someone not to feel so happy, because someone has it better than them.
When someone tells you it is going to be okay, and that it I will get better, I don’t doubt them. I know the only way is up. But minimising someone’s pain does not help. “It is much more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for feeling that way”
Allowing yourself that bad day and facing those feelings head on, can surely only make you appreciate the good days more. But what if the thing you have been trying to escape is pushing it’s way to the surface again, and you know you can’t handle it. What if you are running out of other people’s problems to immerse yourself in. It’s only a matter of time. And you know it’s coming.